Seeing through whose eyes?

As we travel through life, we face a lot of experiences that shape who we are and how we see the world. Sometimes the world sees us in a way we don’t, and this can cause a lot of struggles and problems in our life. This can be due to our gender, our race, our past, our family, our citizenship, etc. All of these factors mentioned before shape our identity and cause stereotypes in a way we can’t control it. Consequently, we are also shaped by subjectivities such as colonizers and dreamers.

Personally, I felt that people saw me in a different way than how I see myself when I went to UCLA in California for a medicine summer camp. I have always seen myself a as a petite girl who is a very dedicated student, daughter, dancer, and a loyal friend. Also, a girl who has goals and because of them is very perseverant to reach her dreams. Nevertheless, when I went to the summer camp my classmates saw me in a very different way and this was all due to Latina stereotypes. When I told them I live in Puerto Rico, they started asking me how I got the opportunity to go to that camp if people in Puerto Rico are poor and how I talked English without an accent being a Latina. Also, boys saw me different than all of the other white girls in the classroom. They started to talk to me as if I was a slut or an easy girl, they told me to dance for them in a sexy loud way “just as Latina do it”. But, the one thing that really shocked me was when they asked me why I wanted to be a doctor if Latina girls were better for being sexy cooks and sexy maids. With this experience, I learned that Latino shaming is real and happening now a days in the United States. Even though I defended myself and tried to explain them I am a real American citizen too and because of this nothing different from them and from the other white girls, I felt really humiliated. It’s awful to feel the role of stereotyping in this post-colonial era. I can say this was the first time I felt called out from the world, and I realized these stereotypes shape my identity in a way I can’t control it.

My family and my past are other factors that have really shaped my perspectives on my experiences. With the word “past” I refer to my grandmother who had a very tough life but never lost hope and always tried to be happy and positive. First of all, when she was a baby she lived in New York and was thrown in a garbage can because her mom didn’t want her. Because of this, she grew up with foster parents, but they died when she was 18 and since she was alone she moved to Puerto Rico to start a new life. In Puerto Rico, she married my grandfather and had my mom and my aunt. Years later, my grandfather was killed and she needed to raise her girls all alone. Even though she lived this tough life, she was always a very positive, perseverant woman who never gave up or lost hope on anything. She is the real definition of a dreamer who finally reached her dream of having the calm, peaceful family she has nowadays. She has taught my family and me that if something goes wrong just stay positive and never lose hope because it always gets better. Thanks to her, I am a very positive perseverant girl who has a lot of dreams and will never give up on them. This has definitely shaped my perspectives on my experiences and my perspective of how I see the world.

In conclusion, a lot of factors in my life have shaped who I am and how I see the world. This has been due to my past, my family and all the dreams I had that turned into goals. Also, how others perceive me and how I have deal with this has been critical in finding who I really am as a subject in the world. Thanks to all of these factors that have shaped me and have taught me different things, I can say I see the world in a better way. No matter the stereotypes or the humiliations I pass, I will never stop being a positive girl who never gives up on anything and will forever be perseverant for her dreams.